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You're very clear that this is something you absolutely will not do, no matter what. Hard Limits: There is no way you will do these, and your partner shouldn't even ask you to.
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Just remember, there are two kinds of limits: You can use these as a conversation starter and as a way to quickly and easily identify your partner's limits and desires. These lists are a great way to start a conversation about kink and the what each of you wants and the role it will play in your relationship. You circle how interested you are in each activity, and also whether or not you've done it. Some are online and others are hard copies meant to be printed, but they all include the same basic idea. You can even use it if you're single, to help understand yourself, your desires, and your limits better. You can also use them if you're getting into a new relationship, or you're in an old relationship and thinking about incorporating some BDSM into your dynamic. They are often used for Doms and subs who are going to play for the first time, as it's an easy way to figure out what each one likes, doesn't like, and absolutely won't do (limits). These are extensive, often quite long lists of potential BDSM activities. Need to figure out more clearly your desires, kinks, fetishes and limits are? Here is an example BDSM Interest Checklist you can use to get started.For those new to the world of BDSM, or even those (like me) who are not new, but have never done a checklist, I am proud to show you the BDSM Checklist! Coming back revisiting your interests to see how you are evolving and changing is always a good idea.Īs Aristotle said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” There is nothing wrong with kinks, fetishes and limits changing as W/we change. Per Jay Wiseman’s request we are including a link to his Submissive Women’s Kvetch Page, both here and elsewhere on the PLAN Web Site. This page is laid out for easy printing and storage in a 3-ring binder. And as we grow and experience, W/we may find that one of our favorite kinks is off limits to everyone, except those who have proven they are worthy of being trusted with this most precious of desires. Jay Wiseman’s D/s Scene Negotiation Checklist.What was once considered completely off limits may turn into an absolute must have.One particular kink that is enjoyed today may become a major turn off tomorrow.It will also provide you with a better idea of your current desires, so you can find a potential partner or partners who may have compatible desires to yours and more easily negotiate play scenes.Īs humans, our likes and dislikes will change over time, as will our kinks, fetishes and limits of what we will and will not do. Knowing your kinks and fetishes before you ever step into any kind of BDSM play is essential to make sure you avoid activities or fetishes that you do not have an interest in. BDSM is made up of a group of interests, activities and desires or some call kinks and fetishes.